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Ray Stevens Miscellaneous The Mississippi Squirell Revival Well, when I was a kid I'd take a trip every summer down the Mississippi To visit my granny in her antebellum world I'd run barefooted all day long climbin' trees free as a song And one day I happened to catch myself a squirrel Well, I stuffed him down in an old shoe box, punched a couple of holes in the top And when Sunday came I snuck him into Church I was sittin' way back in the very last pew showin' him to my good buddy Hugh When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk Well, what happened next is hard to tell Some thought it was heaven others thought it was hell But the fact that something was among us was plain to see As the choir sang "I Surrender All" the squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls Harv leaped to his feet and said, "Somethin's got a hold on me", Yeow! Chorus The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In the sleepy little town of Pascagoula It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival They were jumpin' pews and shoutin' Hallelujah! Well, Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin' Some thought he had religion others thought he had a demon And Harv thought he had a weed eater loose in his Fruit-Of-The-Looms He fell to his knees to plead and beg and the squirrel ran out of his britches leg Unobserved to the other side of the room All the way down to the amen pew where sat Sister Bertha better-than-you Who'd been watchin' all the commotion with sadistic glee But you should've seen the look in her eyes When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs She jumped to her feet and said "Lord have mercy on me" As the squirrel made laps inside her dress She began to cry and then to confess to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame She told of gossip and church dissension but the thing that got the most attention Was when she talked about her love life and then she started naming names Chorus The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival They were jumpin' pews and shoutin' Hallelujah! Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved, Twenty-five thousand dollars was raised and fifty volunteered For missions in the Congo on the spot Even without an invitation there were at least five hundred rededications And we all got baptized whether we needed it or not Now you've heard the bible story I guess How he parted the waters for Moses to pass Oh the miracles God has wrought in this old world But the one I'll remember 'til my dyin' day Is how he put that Church back on the narrow way With a half crazed Mississippi squirrel Chorus The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In the sleepy little town of Pascagoula It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival They was jumpin' pews and shoutin' Hallelujah! |
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